01. The Cognitive Approach

Identify the problem



This stage is about realising there is a problem. Very often we do not do something until the problems have become overwhelming.



Worry can be of a level which carries on permanently but is never serious enough for us to change.



Stress can be the same.






The starting point is choice. We always have a choice, however we feel. We can choose how we react to our thoughts, how we react to situations and what we will do.



The Problem

If someone were to take a scan of you while you were suffering from anxiety, they would see that all your thought activity is going on in your head.

All of your focus is there. Your anxious thoughts are driven by adrenaline, and they trick you into producing an adrenaline response.

Once the adrenaline is in your system, you think there’ll be more anxiety, you stay worrying, produce more adrenaline and the cycle persists.

We buy into our thoughts and believe that they’re true, but they’re not.

The Way Out / The Solution

Anxious thoughts are a con, they’re not real. The solution is to realize that they are not real. The problem will only continue if you believe in it.

The Cognitive Technique

Step one:

Stop. Make the decision to stop going with these anxious thoughts under any circumstances. Do not buy into these thoughts and believe that they are real.

Step two:

Change your focus to something else and keep bringing your attention back to that new thing you are doing.

Useful Examples

1. You have a choice of what to do with your free time. You are feeling worried and afraid but you remember that it’s a bluff, it’s a con etc.

You make a decision to focus on something enjoyable or interesting. You make yourself become absorbed in the new thing you are doing.

If the anxiety is so bad that doing something enjoyable is not an option then, any activity at all is the best thing you can do. Focus on the new activity.

Remind yourself again that the fear is not true, it’s a trick etc. Focus on what you are doing such as cleaning, gardening etc. and keep bringing your attention back to the thing you are focusing on in the present moment.

Do this no matter how much your mind wants to go somewhere else. Practice this technique over and over again. Don’t give up. Practice, practice, practice.

2. If your time is not free and you happen to be at work or in school, first remind yourself that the fear is a trick, it’s not true etc.

Then, focus on the the activity you are involved in (preferably physical) and keep bringing your attention back to the moment.

3. If you are only sitting or standing in a queue and can’t really do anything when the fear hits you, first remember it’s just adrenaline, it’s a lie etc.

Then, place your hand on your stomach and focus on the warmth that will bring your awareness back to your centre.

This brings your attention back to your middle section of your body and away from your head.

If you are all alone, you can also thump the center of your chest and laugh out loud as you do it.

Thump your chest three times and laugh out loud; “HA HA HA!”

This is called the “Thymus thump” and, although you may feel silly while you are doing it, it actually works to clear your negative fear and to raise your energy back to a normal level.

Both of these exercises are very powerful. The more you repeat them, the better results you will get.

Realize that, as you keep doing this, not only have you changed your thought patterns, and found a way out of your fear, you’re getting your life back and finding a better direction.

Points to help with the techniques

• Take an assertive attitude. This means not fighting your anxiety thoughts but doing the act in spite of anxiety thoughts and feelings.

• Don’t be just assertive but be INCREDIBLY assertive. When you’re suffering from anxiety, you lose your assertiveness. By taking this new approach, you’re getting your assertion back.

• Make this technique like a walking mantra. Remind yourself about it over and over.

• Remember that, it’s not how you feel, but what you do that matters.

• Accept that the thoughts are there for the moment but remember that they aren’t real.

• By taking these first steps over the bridge, you make every other bridge easier. You can practice this every time you become afraid and even carry it with you all day long.

As you practice, the technique will become easier and easier.

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