06. The Sensitive Temperament

Labels

When a person suffers from anxiety, the feelings can be so pervasive and overwhelming that, they often begin to identify themselves and even label themselves in certain ways.

‘I am weak’, ‘I am a loser’, ‘I am a failure’ etc.

We identify with our emotions or emotional states but actually, we aren’t any of those things.

The problem arises because people who have a certain feeling, quickly think the are that feeling.

They identify with the feelings and then they label themselves as “depressed”, “nervous”, “afraid”, “weak”, “scared” etc.

The more centred or rooted you are able to remain during the day, the more you can let go of your feelings as they arise. You are more than those feelings and who you “are” is incredibly more important than how you “feel”.

In fact, the only thing that is more important than who you are, would be some sort of spiritual experience which would eventually transform the sense of who you are and make you realize that you are even larger than you felt you were before.

Such an experience can happen to you and has happened to millions of people but it can only happen if you learn to let go of the labels and identification that you have with your negative emotions.

If a person is in a negative situation and they feel bad, they may attach a label of identification to this. That feeling may permeate the sense of who they are and then they wrongly think that they are that particular negative thing itself.

By developing or doing things that help create a sense of identity apart from these negative emotions, such as “I am a sportsman”, “I am an avid reader”, “I am a nature lover” etc, you increase your sense of self and become more than these negative emotions.

Realizing that you are much more than your fears or anxiety is where the relaxation side of the process comes in.

Certain techniques, such as tapping into your imagination during hypnotherapy, can give you the opportunity to realize that you’re more than the thing that you thought you were. You could be walking around feeling terrible, with lots of anxiety.

Your emotional identifications and labels could be keeping you feeling small and limited but, in a state of relaxation, you can change how you feel and realize that you’re much, much more. The fact that you can create a different feeling just by relaxing proves that you are not that limited, labeled self. You are indeed, much, much more.
 
Defining yourself

Who you think you are or how you see yourself is going to affect the feelings that you have. It’s actually going to create how you feel.

If a person believes they’re a failure, they will have thoughts like “I can’t do this”, “I’m no good” and begin to have feelings of depression or anxiousness. So how do you re-define who you are?

It takes a commitment and a plan to make something more of yourself.

Your beliefs that you have about yourself will be incredibly important in determining how you feel.

Setting up a plan to get yourself out of the loop of negative beliefs and feelings is the first step.

Carrying out that plan is the next step and leaving your fear and anxiety in the dust is the last step.

The key to getting out of this is to go back to the doing – doing things. Doing things expands the sense of who you are. This is why hobbies and interests help.

They enable you to do things which you enjoy, giving you more good feelings and allowing you to spend some time outside of anxiety.

All emotions, no matter how bad they feel, always pass. They are not you and this too shall pass.

Any emotion you had, even though it may have gone on for a long time, always passes. Emotions are just like the weather. They just come and go and how you react to them and how you deal with them depends on your own response. You can be aware of it being there or you can be completely controlled by it and just react.

So a person can be angry and react as an angry person, or they can be aware that they feel angry and let the moment pass.

The Sensitive Temperament Exercise

People with a sensitive temperament tend to experience many more varied emotions than other people.

Depending on how you deal with this, it can be either a curse or a blessing. You may have a conflict which makes for an interesting individual and you may not be just one dimensional.

Still, having the courage to express yourself is a big part of the key to being who you are. It’s realizing that there can be a complexity in your nature and you don’t necessarily have to try to fit yourself into certain roles of what you feel you should be. Having the courage to be who you are and be aware of all your conflicting emotions will make you even more than who you are.

A simple exercise is the “I have” and “I am” exercise. Whenever you say “I am” something, you’re defining who you are. If you say “I have” something, a characteristic or feeling, then you become one step removed and you grow.

The most important thing in this exercise is to remember that, just because you “feel” worthless, does not mean that you “are” worthless.

Just because you “feel” anxious and uncertain, does not mean that you “are” those things.

The same exercise can be applied to the positive feelings and characteristics as well because, ultimately, you are greater than everything you experience. It is especially important, however, to begin with the negative feelings of fear and anxiety because these are the ones that control us the most. The thing is just to realize that “this is just an emotion”.

Your sensitive temperament can actually be a wonderful thing if you make the decision to use it for a higher good.

You don’t begin to define yourself as being a sensitive person but you observe your sensitive temperament and it eventually moves you to greater things. It enables you to use aspects of your character for your advantage.

Using Your Sensitive Temperament Wisely

Those who have a sensitive temperament may consider it a blessing and may use that sensitivity to their advantage rather than allowing it to manifest in its negative aspects.

When someone who’s not particularly sensitive meets the world, they only take in a certain amount. This may seem to work very well for them on the surface but the fact that they aren’t particularly challenged may also mean that they aren’t disposed to look deeper for any answers about life.

The quality of the sensitive temperament is such that your mind can sometimes be overloaded with information and this may inspire you to look in new directions for more permanent answers.

Your senses can be overloaded. This can actually be a blessing that you see subtleties and variations, but it also can be exhausting as well. You have the ability to take on far more – this is why it’s important to be able to realize this and to work with your own temperament.

Practical necessities such as diet and sleep can be especially important for you. Also, coming back to your middle are becoming more centred are also very important. Finally, being able to stay relaxed so you’re not becoming overwhelmed and getting carried away are extremely important.

Acknowledging that there is a sensitivity in your temperament makes this into a strength.

By adding the cognitive technique and using all the other techniques, especially the relaxation, you are now able to use this tendency more wisely to your advantage.

Having this temperament means that you are a decent person, a conscientious person and a considerate person.

You are also very likely a creative person who is now allowing your creativity to work for you by developing your courage and assertiveness.

Once you realize these characteristics, this makes you great.

This is a reason to highly value yourself. Realize who you are, value yourself for who you are, keep coming back to what’s in front of you and practice, practice, practice. Use more relaxation and keep coming back to the same thing: less thinking, more calm, more centred states of being.

This will enable you to be that wonderful person who has sensitivity, who has a gift. Having gone through all the problems and having come out the other end, will make you an even stronger person in the end.

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